Sexuality is alot like the career and job marketplace. Imagine relationships and love as alot like jobs: you can be a freelancer, making money here and there but never really having commitment, or you can have a government job or a comfortable, corporate job, where you've learned the game pretty well and have the job for life.
Aspies are much, much more likely to opt for the former. While I was in the States, I often would go on dates, do all the work of courting the girl, make out and then not really follow through past that. It wasn't a lack of attraction or interest at all. Doing so simply required a level of commitment and responsibility that I wasn't ready for and didn't know how to do.
When long distance relationships showed their face, I chickened out. There was alot at play here, including a youthful lack of responsibility as well as an Aspergian lack of knowledge of much of the social expectations around sexuality, relationships and marriage. Once I really began to see older people in relationships and marriage here in Guam, my thinking began to change a bit.
Aspies will also simultaneously be late bloomers and early bloomers. They'll probably hit puberty just like everyone else but not go all the way or even enter the dating world until well after their peers. Once again, a general social lack of knowledge is the cause of this and they are fully capable of "getting over" that cluelessness and being good husbands and wives. They're just going to have to have some information and communication on how to do so because, believe me, they're not hard wired with this sort of thing.
Like work, the mix of compliments on capability and insults for incapability that Aspies regularly receive may break down their brain and keep them from really applying themselves. Only yesterday, a friend referred to me as "dumb" and mocked me only a half hour after saying I was "all right" and that they "liked me." This is confusing as hell. This sort of thing is the reason why an Aspie's natural predisposition can be to cut things off with the rest of the world and live within one's own "zone." Sexuality and relationships will just be hyper versions of the distress of friendships and someone is going to have to prepare the child for this sort of thing. It's hard enough for neurotypicals, let alone Aspies.
Aspies aren't all gay. On one occasion with some friends, I went on a trip to a strip club. I was nervous and, in their words, "scared." In the simpler neurotypical world, they figured that I was gay. It had absolutely nothing to do with that but I knew better than to try to explain where I was coming from to people who would not understand it. If I had been gay and gone to a gay strip club, the nervousness would be there as well.
Aspies spend much of their early lives in their own mind and with their own company and so the initial trip out of that can be terrifying. I've gotten used to elements of this but have not gotten used to all of it and, eventually, I suspect that I will return back to my comfort zone, having learned more than a few things about how the world operates. The radical writer Saul Alinsky once wrote that people simply do not respond well to anything that is out of their personal experience. If you consider the average Aspie's personal experience, then, a strip club is something they will not initially respond well to. Once they've gone a few times, however, like anyone they may become a natural.
To finish with, there is the zone of honesty and lies. Aspies aren't very good liars and in the sexual world, they may easily be taken for a ride. Like the above example, this is a zone of practice and they're going to have to explore things, as rough as it might all be.
Love is a learning process for everyone. That statement is just a bit more of an extreme for Aspies.
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